Talk Time

I have a conversation with my mum where I mentioned going to the doctor about a rash I had all over me (was an allergic reaction to something). She asked me if I had talked about how I'd been feeling while I was there. I said no, wondering why I would even do that. She also brought up the dreaded "D" word....surely not...I'm just exhausted is all....isn't it normal to feel like I do when you have a baby and a toddler to look after?? Apparently not.

So, I have 2 choices here. I can just ignore my mum and carry on as is, or I can figure out exactly how I'm feeling and do something about it...The Road to a Healthier Me...I decide the later.

I went back to the doctors with the following list (so much easier to write it down than try to describe it and talk about it on the spot):
- I am constantly exhausted and if I could sleep all day I would.
- If I had a "day off" I don't think I would feel revived.
- I'm not enjoying my time with my kids. I find it draining and I find it hard to get motivated to do activities with them.
- I feel tied down and want to run away a lot...but at the same time wouldn't have things any other way (yes, sounds confusing).
- It's emotionally too easy to leave my beautiful boy with other people. It's a relief.
- I worry and feel anxious about little things.
- I don't really enjoy anything. Everything is a chore.
- Baby refusing feeds (he's breastfed) really gets me down.
- I'm extremely irritable.
- My memory is crap.
- At times it feels like my head is going to implode and I'm going to end up raving mad.

Doesn't look good to me. Mum (and my sister) were right and the doctor totally agreed. PND (post natal depression). Medication and counselling for the road to recovery.